The Shootout is pleased to present: The Dallas Stars Cast

Patty made a post over at Penalty Killing with a link to an interview with Brenden Morrow saying he thinks Russell Crowe would play him in a movie. Now Brenden, nothing against Russell Crowe but no. Just no. So I took the liberty of searching IMDB to find a suitable actor to fulfill the greatness that is the Morrownator. I enlisted the help of Caitlin from Hockey Coma, and we found actors for every player on the team, and the list is as follows….

Krys Barch played by Noah Wyle

Noah Wyle has been seen in such things as ER and The Librarian

 

Stu Barnes played by Michael Biehn

Michael Biehn has been seen in such thins as the Terminator and Clockstoppers

 

Phillipe Boucher played by Christian Bale

Christian Bale has been seen in such things as Batman Begins and Little Women

 

Chris Conner played by Jonathan Taylor Thomas

JTT has been in such things as Home Improvement and Wild America

 

Trevor Daley played by Brandon Quinton Adams

Brandon Quintin Adams has been seen in such things as The Mighty Ducks and the Sandlot

 

Loui Eriksson played by Casey Affleck

Casey Affleck has been seen in such things as 200 Cigarettes and Ocean’s Eleven

 

Mark Fistric played by Eldon Henson

Eldon Henson has been seen in such things as The Mighty Ducks and O

 

Nicklas Grossman played by Aaron Lohr

Aaron Lohr has been seen in such things as D2: The Mighty Ducks and Daydream Believer: The Monkees Story

 

Jeff Halpern played by Zachary Ty Bryan

Zachary Ty Bryan has been seen in such things as Home Improvement and The Rage: Carrie 2

 

Niklas Hagman played by Gaspard Ulliel

Gaspard Ulliel has been seen in such things as Hannibal Rising and A Very Long Engagement

 

Jussi Jokinen played by Chad Michael Murray

Chad Michael Murry has been seen in such things as A Cinderella Story and One Tree Hill

 

 

Jere Lehtinen played by Stellan Skarsgard

Stellan Skarsgard has been seen in such things as The Glass House and Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End

 

Joel Lundqvist played by Cillian Murphy

Cillian Murphy has been seen in such things as Red Eye and 28 Days Later

 

Antti Miettinen played by Joshua Jackson

Joshua Jackson has been seen in such things as The Mighty Ducks and Dawson’s Creek

 

Mike Modano played by Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise has been seen in such things as Mission Impossible and Jerry Maguire

 

Brenden Morrow played by Eric Peter-Kaiser

Eric Peter-Kaiser has been seen in such things as Miracle and Zero Hour

 

Matt Niskanen played by Taran Noah Smith

Taran Noah-Smith has been seen in such things as Home Improvement and Little Bigfoot 2

 

Matthias Norstrom played by Ed Harris

Ed Harris has been seen in such things as Apollo 13 and A Beautiful Mind

 

Steve Ott played by Seann William Scott

Sean William Scott has been seen in such things as American Pie and Mr. Woodcock

 

Mike Ribeiro played by Sacha Baron Cohen

Sacha Baron Cohen has been seen in such things as Borat and Talladega Nights

 

Stéphane Robidas played by Joaquin Phoenix

Joaquin Phoenix has been seen in such things as Signs and Ladder 49

 

Mike Smith played by Andy Samberg

Andy Samberg has been seen in such things as Saturday Night Live and Hot Rod

 

Marty Turco played by Papa John
(in his debut performance)

Papa John has been seen on such things as Papa John ads and coupons

 

Brad Winchester played by Vincent Larusso

Vincent Larusso has been seen in such things as The Mighty Ducks trilogy

 

Sergei Zubov played by Gary Oldman

Gary Oldman has been seen in such things as Harry Potter and Hannibal

 

Dave Tippett played by Emilio Estevez

Emilio Estevez has been seen in such things as The Mighty Ducks and Young Guns

 

So there you have it, the cast of the Dallas Stars.

 

 

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29 Responses to “The Shootout is pleased to present: The Dallas Stars Cast”

  1. Caitlin Says:

    Jen, I have not laughed this hard in a long time.

    GORDON BOMBAY IS OUR HEAD COACH, Y’ALL!

  2. Cat Says:

    PERFECT

    THIS POST IS PERFECT

    THE MOST PERFECT THING I HAVE EVER SEEN EVER

    INSPIRED.

  3. Jen Says:

    I glad you likie!

  4. Mommy Says:

    You are the most talented young lady I have ever known.

  5. Caitlin Says:

    You are the most talented young lady I have ever known.

    OMG HI JEN’S MOM!!!!

    And I would definitely agree with you that Jen’s the most talented person I know! (Well played, Jenlo, well played!)

  6. Pookie Says:

    Marty Turco played by Papa John? GENIUS!

  7. Jen Says:

    Haha, Turco being Papa John goes back so many years haha back to when he actually had hair! Everytime they’d play Papa John commercials during the games like 4 or 5 years ago I’d be like “OMG TURCO PLZ BE IN PAPA JOHN COMMERCIAL”

  8. Caitlin Says:

    Everytime they’d play Papa John commercials during the games like 4 or 5 years ago I’d be like “OMG TURCO PLZ BE IN PAPA JOHN COMMERCIAL”

    And now I just see Marty out of goalie gear and I’m like, “Hey, don’t we pay you enough money to deliver me some pizza and some cheesy garlic bread with that awesomely crack-addictive garlic sauce? Mmm, Papa John’s!”

  9. Jen Says:

    and the fact that he used to look like this just pushes the Marty/Papa John love along.

  10. Patty (in Dallas) Says:

    Gary Oldman as Sergei Zubov is double-genius.

    And Sacha Baron Cohen has to dress just like that in order to play Ribs.

    And pretty much every other one is hilarious, too. I really liked your choice for Happy Meals. Little Bigfoot 2? Um… struggling.

  11. Jen Says:

    Gary Oldman as Sergei Zubov is double-genius.

    Caitlin actually gets the credit for that one!

    And Sacha Baron Cohen has to dress just like that in order to play Ribs.

    Oh totally, that picture was what sealed the deal for him to play Ribbons.

    I really liked your choice for Happy Meals. Little Bigfoot 2? Um… struggling.

    I’ve never actually heard of that movie haha but it’s on his IMDB, and I wanted 2 TV shows/films for each person, and it was that or some other stupid movie. But Little Bigfoot 2 sounded lamer.

  12. Caitlin Says:

    And Sacha Baron Cohen has to dress just like that in order to play Ribs.

    I know! Jen showed it to me and I nearly died. Have you seen the Bruno sketches from the Ali G show, Patty? (After the success of Borat, they’ve greenlit the Bruno movie, so I suspect in about a year or two you’re going to be cracking up more, seeing that all over billboards and some such.)

  13. Patty (in Dallas) Says:

    I haven’t actually seen the Ali G show, but I’ve heard so much about it I feel like I have.

  14. Cat Says:

    Oh BRUUUUUUUUNO. I love Bruno.

    I especially liked the photo of Taran Noah Smith that Jenlo used. Awesome.

  15. jenn Says:

    i LOVE the fact that the entire child-cast of Home Improvement is cast in this movie, in addition to pretty much every kid that played in the mighty ducks movies!!! GENIUS!!!

  16. Sherry Says:

    Okay, somebody is clearly a “Home Improvement” fan :P

    Still, this is some inspired casting, right here!

  17. Happy Birthday to Me « The Shootout Says:

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  18. Kally Says:

    WOW jen called everybody in the kid cast of home improvement is in here and almost all of the entire cast of The mighty ducks is in this all you are missing is the cowboy dude Robertson, Goldberg the Gollie, and the girls and you’d be set. lol haha to bad this isn’t gonna be a real movie it be a great cast!!!! :)

  19. Angelatida Says:

    Mike Modano and Tom?…more like Mike Modano and Jon Heder. Check out the link below.

    http://kestenfamily.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/mike-modano-jon-heder.jpg?w=240&h=206

  20. Rookie Says:

    I haven’t heard someone make this many Home Improvement references in ages.

    Also, why would you have Seann William Scott play Steve Ott, when he has the most lovable doppelganger in the world? Alan Tudyk played Wash on Firefly and Steve The Pirate in Dodgeball… http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0876138/ They look like they were separated at birth!

  21. Luxe Says:

    Oh God, that Turco/Papa John thing made my freakin’ day! Great post.

  22. Brando Says:

    I feel as though you did a really good job except Loui Eriksson and Christian Bale matched up with other people when they should be together. I always imagine Loui talking like Batman

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